praise God from whom
all blessings flow
praise God for shattered dreams
for chipped casserole dishes
drunken prayers and carpet stains

praise God for days spent
trying to get un-lost
for winding paths
unmarked roads
and overgrown fields
where serpents lurk
praise God for shaky hands
for love professed
through cracking voices
and for the aching
inside our chests

praise God for the undoing
for it is in faltering
that we discover what
it means to be strong

it is in

that we finally
begin to live




A poem of longing. 

young voices cry
back and forth
to one another



the sounds of laughs
and splashing
join the symphony
of cardinals chirping and
tibetan prayer flags
dancing in the wind

the thought crosses my mind:
one day I would like some
of those



This is about exactly what it sounds like it's about.

you cross my mind
more than I'd care to admit
I think about what a great spouse
And father you would make

I can imagine resting in your arms
Laughing at your jokes
Even mourning the loss of our youth together

I try not to think of you often
I've tried to re-route my brain
Change my thought process
Avoid the inevitable

Because it hurts so much
Hurts knowing that I'll never
Get to show you how deeply I
Love and adore you

You're goofy in the most precious ways
Everything about you turns me on
From your laugh
To your hair
To the way your palms sweat
When you're nervous

I'm trying my best to just enjoy you
The time I have with you is precious
And even if I never get to love you
The way I long to, I'll never forget you

I'll never forget
The way fire ran through my being
The first time our bodies touched


Lament: Part I

I am a real believer in pouring out one's heart to God...even the doubts and the anger. I do a little bit of that here. It is partially inspired by the book of Job, which is one of my favorite books in the Hebrew Bible. 

are you even listening?
when we weep, do you weep with us?

does your heart break
when our hearts break?
or do you observe from
the other side of the veil
and distance yourself?

have you ever cried yourself
asleep or drank too much
because you didn't want to think
about friends dying of cancer
and polar bears starving
in iceless lands?

tell me-- when was the last
time you felt helpless?
when was the last time quit

beliving in the goodness of humanity?

have you ever felt fear?
have you ever walked to your
car at night with your keys wedged
between your fingers?

have you ever seen the life
drain out of another human being?
watched them take their dying breaths?

have you ever professed your
love for another and been rejected?

have you ever longed so deeply
for the touch of another human being
that it almost hurt physically?



I am trying to get back into the habit of writing and posting more often. I used to be very good about that until I let things slip. I am going to post a few poems in the meantime. My poetry is deeply personal. Some of it will never end up on the web. In fact, most of it won't. Not everything I write is happy. Read at your own risk. I go to the depths. I am usually never satisfied with my poetry. It is always a work in progress, but I've decided to go ahead and share some.

I wrote this after my mom's death in 2016:

For a decade you slowly slipped away
Until, in the end, you were
A shell of your former self

Your green eyes were the only thing
That reminded that you were still
In there somewhere

Like two little lights
Beacons in the night
A reminder that some things are constant
And life will go on